This article includes spoilers about the TV show "Adolescence."
In merely three weeks, the British crime drama “Adolescence” became the ninth most-watched Netflix It's easy to understand its popularity as this series captivates audiences by tracing the life of a working-class family whose 13-year-old son, Jamie, faces accusations of stabbing his female classmate.
As we progress, both Jamie’s parents and I discover that he was being tormented by fellow students and became entangled in the "manosphere" on the internet — an ominous pathway where YouTube personalities and male-centric podcast hosts cloak their sexism within self-improvement rhetoric. “pickup artist” -style dating advice.
For parents — particularly those with young sons — this presents a horrifying, nearly horror-movie-like portrayal of the challenges they face. incel Culture, bullying, and emerging misogyny can converge and push an otherwise typical teenager towards extreme acts of violence. (In Jamie’s situation, he also has to deal with inherited anger problems from his father.)
Kirk Honda, who is both a therapist and the host of “Psychology In Seattle,” A YouTuber who delves into psychological themes within popular culture mentioned that he isn't astonished this series has gained popularity.
"Each parent I've come across grapples with the unsettling reality that their child will either already possess or inevitably gain access to the most disturbing sections of the web," Honda stated.
Honda found a scene by the series' conclusion especially impactful due to its realistic portrayal. During this scene, Jamie’s parents are seated on their bed in deep distress, understanding too late that even though their son was within the house and behind a closed door, he wasn’t truly safe.
He pointed out that parents become consumed with ensuring safety: they secure locks on doors, instruct children to check for traffic in both directions, carefully examine their friendships, and establish strict bedtimes," he remarked. "However, how does one shield a child from an invisible threat? How do you guard them against complex algorithms you struggle to comprehend or ideologies you've barely encountered yourself?
Since it's highly watchable — consisting of just four episodes — and appears to be very relevant, Prime Minister Keir Starmer wishes for the TV show to be shown in schools in the UK --- though not everyone believes that's a solid suggestion. (I'll expand on this point subsequently.)
What aspects of how young boys gravitate towards incel culture online does the series accurately portray? And what does it fail to capture correctly? very incorrect? We spoke with therapists experienced in working with young males and researchers studying misogyny’s presence online to find some explanations.
Indeed, it can be just that simple for a child to get drawn into online misogyny.
Incels, which stands for involuntary celibates, form an online community where men shape their identities based on their belief that they cannot attract women. For instance, Elliot Rodger In 2014, a 22-year-old individual who murdered six people and subsequently took their own life near the University of California, Santa Barbara, has since become a cult hero For certain incels, prior to his attack, Rodger penned an erratic, 141-page manifesto detailing his struggles with romantic rejection and his anger towards women.
The manosphere constitutes an extensive online ecosystem comprised of podcasts, YouTube channels, TikTok pages, and forums, all targeted at disaffected males. These digital influencers advise young men that females are fundamentally subordinate and readily manipulable for romantic or sexual encounters. (Andrew Tate, a key individual within the men's rights movement Who is mentioned in the series was apprehended two years ago for supposedly establishing a criminal group with his sibling to mistreat and sexually abuse women.
"Adolescence" perfectly captures how readily young boys can be lured into dangerous ideologies, according to the statement. Grace Walker , a marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles. (Even grown men can find themselves drawn into it; Jamie’s father notes that a manosphere YouTube video started playing after he finished his workout video.)
Walker stated, “Hate isn't inherent in boys like Jamie; instead, they're frequently estranged from their own emotions, taught to hide weakness, hold up unyielding toughness as ideal, and dread being gentle.”
She has gained this insight from dedicating a significant portion of her professional life to working at both outpatient and inpatient facilities with teenage boys and young men whose mental states resemble Jamie's. Characters such as Tate provide these individuals with an illusion of authority and self-worth, particularly during times when they feel insignificant, marginalized, and overlooked.
“The show helps us to see that this isn’t just about bad influence — it’s about what rushes in to fill the silence when emotional development is neglected,” Walker said.
Many moms and dads genuinely remain completely ignorant about the content their children view online.
Walker noted that what stands out is how the series refrains from demonizing the parents. Instead, it illustrates just how readily one can fall prey to a misguided belief that everything is fine when their child isn't exhibiting overt signs of trouble.
"But the emotional detachment, secrecy, and online obsession demonstrated by Jamie are all examples of reactive behavior — we simply haven't typically been encouraged to view them from this perspective," she explained.
"I believe parents are observing this situation and recognizing themselves — not as antagonists, but as individuals doing their utmost in a world where parenting now involves overseeing an unseen realm that we did not experience growing up," Walker stated.
The part about discussing incels usingemoji codes likely isn’t rooted in real life.
It's completely accurate how people abandon their actual pastimes for virtual realms, he stated. William Costello , a PhD candidate at the University of Texas at Austin, who has authored several peer-reviewed papers on the psychology of incels.
In essence, children communicating online or through texts typically do not use "dynamite" emojis to imply that a classmate is an incel or employ a "kidney bean" emoji to signify their own identification as such.
The notion that incels communicate through some hidden emoji universe is completely ridiculous," Costello stated. "Indeed, there exists an online slang specific to incels that might confuse older generations; however, I genuinely cannot fathom where the show’s creators came up with this concept regarding emojis.
Boys who become part of incel culture are frequently subjected to bullying.
Online harassment contributes to igniting Jamie’s rage against Katie, his classmate who he ultimately kills. Being bullied is widespread among involuntary celibates, as pointed out by Costello. A 2022 study revealed that 91% of this group experiences such abuse. Incels share stories about experiencing harassment. compared to One-third of the overall populace .
People who consider themselves incels might be more prone to self-harm than to commit violence against others.
Honda believes that one of the most impactful decisions the show makes is narrating events through an outsider’s viewpoint: We never gain insight into Jamie’s inner thoughts, and like his parents, we remain equally astonished by his behavior.
Rather than direct insight, we get fleeting, disconcerting looks at his escalating anger and extremism," Honda stated. "The parents have been allowing Jamie more freedom, as is suitable for his age, so they remain unaware of his rapid plunge into such behavior. ‘red pill’ universe .”
To his parents, Jamie transforms from an innocent child into someone who commits murder against a fellow student almost instantly. This dramatic shift serves as intense material for television; however, emphasizing Jamie’s extreme violence without delving deeply into the psychological factors behind it might render it less impactful as an educational resource for younger audiences.
"The truth is that the majority of incels are not actually violent," he stated. Matt Pinkett , an educator with over ten years of experience in the U.K., and the author of "Boys Do Cry: Improving Boys' Mental Health and Wellbeing in Schools." (Pinkett has also been touring various U.K. schools for the last several years) teaching students about issues such as sexism against women and positive masculinity.)
"I believe that concentrating solely on the incels engaging in violent behavior might divert attention away from the broader problem, which is essentially about the underlying feelings of insecurity, rejection, guilt, and shame experienced by many young men and boys who adopt incel culture," Pinkett stated.
The show fails to highlight that incels frequently direct their hatred toward themselves instead of expressing it externally through violent acts. A study conducted by Costello examining U.K. students revealed that one out of every five incels exhibits this behavior. contemplated suicide every day Over the last fourteen days, an additional 33% stated that they contemplated this issue "on more than half of the days" or "multiple times."
That's why both he and Pinkett aren't particularly fond of the show being included in school curriculums.
Boys who are at risk of being radicalized often perceive themselves as outsiders within their community," Pinkett stated, "Thus, having a teacher stand at the front of the classroom saying things like — 'Look at this fellow from the book 'Adolescence.' See how lost and enraged he is? What an awful individual' — might drive them even closer to embracing 'involuntary celibacy,' whereas what these boys truly require is access to mental health assistance.
Educators and moms and dads are spread too thin, which makes it simpler for troubled children to slip through the gaps.
Costello noted that one aspect the series portrays accurately is the strain on overburdened educational institutions and the exhaustion among educators. He also highlighted the importance of having positive male figures in school settings, echoing a frequently discussed idea by Richard Reeves, who wrote "Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It."
Jamie's working-class parents are equally overwhelmed and drained of emotion, a sentiment that resonates with numerous parents, according to Walker.
“The advanced stages of capitalism have fostered an environment where family structures are under immense strain,” explained the therapist. “With parents logging more work hours, traditional support networks are disintegrating, and fundamental mental health services remain either out of reach or subject to social stigma.”
When a child such as Jamie begins to pull away, parents often chalk it up to typical teenage behavior. This tendency is reinforced due to the fact that addressing issues occurring online or dealing with emotional challenges demands considerable time and energy, which many parents simply lack.
"The part where Jamie’s mother remarks, 'We simply looked away from him for a second,' truly resonated with me since that mirrors the experience of countless parents," Walker stated.
It isn't that parents lack concern; rather, the systems they're part of don't provide them with enough time, resources, or emotional energy to remain fully engaged and closely connected with their children as much as they would like," she explained. "This is indeed a significant issue.